A recent occurrence at a printing shop highlights some of the costs of not attending whilst communicating and potential ways in which we can improve our communication skills. A young woman requests printing to be down whilst she waits, all the time speaking to a friend on her mobile. Despite repeated attempts by the assistant to clarify the order in terms of quality and order size, the customer continued to alternate between rudimentary responses and laughter and involvement with her friend on the phone. When the work was complete and the bill presented, the customer become irate, blaming the assistant for her mistake in taking the order which now cost more than she anticipated.
What lessons can be learnt from this example and what are the costs of not attending to the conversation?
- Effective communication is really only possible when each participant is attending to what is happening and can clarify any ambiguity regarding the message.
- We can’t attend to more than one thing at a time. Despite people believing they can in reality they are alternating from attention on one thing to another, but not simultaneously.
- In order to maximise the chance of getting cooperation from another person. You must pay attention to relationship aspects of communication. Ignoring someone and barking orders at them without due respect for their time, can backfire, not only in terms of increased costs as in this example, but lack of cooperation, refusal to comply, resentment and aggression.
- When activities are conducted with little presence or attention it lays the foundation for stress and overwhelm since you use more energy in having to switch your attention and deal with the anxiety of being misunderstood or giving directions that may latter prove to be incorrect.
This is one of the most challenging to managers and executives when communicating with other cultures. Quite often managers and executives, especially those from the US, need to simplify their English a bit more. While you might not be communicating in the way you want it, the point is to make sure the person whom you’re communicating can comprehend your statements. This will enable you to get them to understand you. Make sure you do this when dealing with different cultures. Make sure you learn about their gender politics also. For example, in India, it’s very hard to pin folks down to a deadline. There are ways of going about this. Forcing someone to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ can create more conflicts instead of getting the job done. Instead, learn first about the person’s level of understanding in English, what he/she is capable of, then communicate about one thing at a time. Establish the right communication feedback loop then move forward or add-on more things. Without this first clear establishment, you’d be all over the place and get frustrated when two months down the line the firm you’ve outsourced or hired hasn’t done anything you had asked just because they didn’t know what you were talking about.
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